Cry No More

Listening to Tonex Cry No More...and I know that one day I will get there. This hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I mean he and I hadn't been in a relationship since I was 20ish. We didn't have a bad break up so I was never angry with him.  We have talked over the years through his letters to my darling Dee...but even that was hit or miss. I had no idea his death (and everything leading up to it) would be so devastating.

I have known him such a long time. I can remember those basement parties on Garland....I wanna say he is first guy I ever danced with...and I know he is first guy that ever tongue kissed me....wow..that was WAY back in 89-87ish...23 years ago. A lot of history between us...I hadnt even realized....

Although I hated what happened in his life, I was proud of the way he stayed in our daughters life...when the easy thing would have been to focus on himself. He was a boy that I loved when I was young..but became a man that I loved for sharing with me our beautiful daughter.

I understand that some friends both old and new were very close to him in his final hours. I hope that they were able to provide comfort for him. I know that he had made his peace with the Lord and is with Jesus now. He no longer wants for anything. I am not crying for him anymore.  Its for me and my baby that I am crying now.